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November 14th 2017

Infinity began to take its toll...........

The October post was nice and concise

Since then its been like living in a dream, accelerated, I have been working ridiculously its almost funny

And the mind has been traveling it seems to some far and distant places

the idea of this blog is to help me stay grounded throughout whatever Im going through and to share my

more strange and unfinished thoughts.

Chasing resentment out of my life and learning to love is a continual process it seems.

The definition of Sentient is Perceiver

which is a good place to start here

At a certain point I began to understand, that much of my personal issues, concerns, Dilemmas, Drama's

which played themselves out

Where not only my own, yet they where in relationship with my family, my community and broader social


As if they where weaved into the fabric of what I thought of as me

From a far, having direct consequence.

Through this understanding, I was able to detach from the energetic emotional charge

These issues` seemed to possess.

And allow my thinking to extend a broader perspective

Whats important to mention here, is that this understanding doesn't devoid me of any responsibility

In any drama, dilemma or Issue i have or have had, its actually the opposite

It gives me the responsibility of what is to be done by and about the issue

The Issue's I'm thinking of when I'm writing this aren't specific

I am speaking universally, trying to reason with rules which apply to multiple levels of analysis

Issues which could be conceived in the present past and future

Some may be resolved as I write this, some with lifetimes which span before and beyond me

And some which have yet to arrive of out consequences of the present.

It was useful for me to be able to see the causality, the links in which situations where created

The subtle interplay between a multiplicity of scenarios

From this perspective you can see the role you play in creating or resolving these issues

And how they seem to accumulate over time

I wanted to mention this, in light of the discussion I had in the September blog posts about Infinity

And how we seem, in one way to be infinite beings, I think I made that point fairly well,

yet it has no use until it is grounded. And this is what much of my thinking revolves around

How to ground the wisdom of a metaphysical understanding into practical day to day terms

Issues themselves seem to ground us, although issues can quite easily get out of hand

Having problems of complex nature seem to challenge us enough that our attention is less on our infinite

nature and more on the practical or theoretical task in hand, A grounded approach is necessary to move

forward. And moving forward is the most important thing.

Some problems are more imminent than others, particularly the ones of survival

In this light not all problems are bad, its how we upscale them and turn them into principles

Thinking of the phrase 'Turning Manure into Flower Beds' or 'Poison into Medicine'

What i've experienced myself, as I have got older in particular, is

Self definition through the challenge of solving complicated problems

I've happily let go of some of my infinite nature and decided on a orientation which meant eliminating some

of my options and refining some of the possibilities, I didn't have to take all of them with me

And gladly so because over time the infinite became a burden to carry, rather than an exciting prospect

I would say some challenges are bigger than others, some challenges require more of you

The challenges that transform you, and situations and societies and so on, these are the challenges that

require more than your mind but rather your whole being

What I mean by this, is that you have to change your behaviour to towards the attainment of the solution

Your current state isn't adequate and more of you is needed to rise to the challenge

So old thinking patterns need to be upgraded with new thinking patterns, and old habits and behaviours too

need upgrading, perhaps your conviction needs sharpening and resilience needs testing

This too takes you out of the infinite space of endless possibilities and into self definition

You forced by engagement with a goal or challenge to shape yourself in accordance with the requirements

of the task associated with attaining the goal or achieving a means to an end.

So your behaviour becomes oriented towards something

Thinking about this made me think about how many similarities we share as humans

yes we are infinitely different but in respect of how we orientate ourselves, we are all fairly

directed towards similar outcomes in life.

And here too is another dimension to this train of thought

When we do decide to define ourselves, within a framework

I will use my own example for clear understanding, to decide to aim toward becoming a creative


Within that framework, a new set of infinite potentials emerge,

Which are derivations of the original framework.

So the first statement gets calcified, 'Creative Artist specialising in Electronic/ambient music'

And again a new set of infinite potentials emerge

'Creative Artist composing Electronic/Ambient with narrative

a new set of infinite potentials emerge

'Artist composing Electronic music based on Mythological themes and so on...........

This also creates a cool mental image of this idea, it keeps going as a continuum

like a worm hole, a tunnel through the self

And as each of these self definitions occur, the perception of it from the outside seems to sharpen

Increase in resolution and to become more astute and more well defined

Shaping a form within infinite space, shaping a Character.

This is why there is no excuse for lack of originality, it an under developed idea still

I think about Jazz in the 60's John Coltrane and Miles Davis, each of their albums seemed to like

examinations of the infinite space in which Jazz existed, they had this brilliant understanding of music which

they expressed by the amount of variation and different styles of expression they explored

Literally like swimming in an ocean of unexplored, undocumented waters.

So I'm going to jump now Ahead a little bit

Throughout or during this process

of metaphorical swimming in an ocean or unexplored, undocumented waters

what do we have to guide us in the dark?

What is our guidance system? to make decisions within infinite possibility

I love this one

'Bats use sound to see in the dark'

they are blind yet they navigate themselves through Echolocation, sounds of Ultrasonic Frequency

Up to 200kHz for the tech heads, human hearing caps itself off at 20kHz

They measure the reflections and refractions off the external environment

they do this really fast aswel

I often sit by the embankment where near where i live at nighttime and bats fly all around above you

and sometimes they will nearly hit you during flight, but swerve to just miss you,

They have fast reactions and are well attuned to sound

Well i think with the human condition it is something we share a lot of similarities in terms of navigating in

the dark

The obvious one is in the metaphor of the bat

Projecting thought or fantasy forward into the unknown future

Based on these projections we take calculated risks, measured judgements and instinctive decisions, not

always of a rational nature

some more instinctive decisions pull strongly from irrational places

A combination of this mixed with a curiosity

And this curiosity can have a penetrating affect on your life.

One moment which can seemly transform a course of events, born out of a curiosity

when you allow yourself to follow this internal guidance system

to quieten down the loud voice of the mind which so often repeats itself and makes judgements based on

compulsions and impulses, instead seeing beyond that and listening to the more subtle suggestions of the


these moments or shifts are so compelling and curious in their nature

How instincts produce more interesting and beneficial results over a more measured

approach Im not sure, because instincts seem to 'weight in' the complexity of one's personality

and the complexity of time in relation in past present and future events, often in split seconds

Whereas the rational mind would take much longer to account for all of the possible variables

I am overwhelmed by the mystery

I have many examples of these types of moments

I will share one really briefly from last sunday evening

After a long working weekend, sunday i decided to go to a friends house to share some stories ideas and

conversation, we sat up till about half 10 and i decided to leave

the walk from his house back to my house is a fairly long walk through the city

Seen as I had time i thought i would take a more scenic route and allow my imagination to wonder and my

mind to process the business

I felt quite rushed during the walk and I walked with haste, almost like i was being pushed

It was late at night, dark and cold and to be honest i needed the toilet

So I was walking fast, yet still almost in some sort of trance

on the way I walk close by my old studio in which I worked for 6 years and had many memories from

I decided to walk past to investigate the area, out of curiousity

As i got closer maybe 50 meter from the building

I looked up into the night sky and swoosh

A huge shooting star crossed the sky in front of me

Right above the view of the old studio building

Creating this picturesque moment

I thought, I've just walked maybe 2 a half miles to be here, at this time

The likelyhood of this encounter was a million to one, completely unexpected

If I hadn't of been desperate for the toilet i wouldn't of walked so fast and the timing would be out

it was almost as if the moment conspired itself to appear or reveal itself in such a way

Im sure if you speak to most people they have stories of a similar nature

which means this experience in shared and is not uncommon across human nature

but yeah it made my night anyway

Thanks for Reading, more to come!

........ Love x Shot 2017-11-14 at 18_04_13.png Shot 2017-11-14 at 17_54_02.png Shot 2017-11-14 at 17_53_23.png Shot 2017-11-14 at 17_52_40.png